Fool’s Gold

From glass filler to trick lighting, a jeweler reveals the slimy ways they try to wrap you around their greedy fingers.

You walk into my shop, and I’ve already won. Basically, you’re about to spend two months’ salary for a rock or two…And it only goes downhill from there. You’re whipped, frightened, and you know jewelry like a chimp knows computer repair. Your money is ours. We’ve got a thousand ways to scam you, and we’re ready to use them. I’ll take you through the process—and keep you from getting duped.

Your first move is to find out how much something should cost. (Price items on sites such as TheDiamond.com)

Now, where should you plunk down your dough? Your best bet, believe it or not, is a mom-and-pop shop—but not just any one. Make sure they’ve been around a while and that you know someone who had a good experience there. Forget buying at department stores and chains. They don’t haggle, and they sell lower-quality stuff. If you can wait, buy after a holiday because demand is low and we’re desperate to sell.

Don’t be fooled
We’ve got more tricks than Penn & Teller, so if you want to win, walk in like you know a thing or two. That makes creeps like me less likely to walk all over you. And always keep your cool. If you seem frantic, I know I’ve got you by the balls.

Once we’ve pulled out the goods, show us you’re no novice. For gold, check for a karat mark and trademark, which show the company who made the piece stands by its purity. And if it’s a necklace, make sure the karat mark doesn’t appear on the clasp instead of among the links. We’ve been known to stick an expensive clasp on a tin chain. Next, check the weight. Does it feel sturdy? Good. Make sure we don’t give you white gold—a mix of gold and nickel—in place of platinum. Look for the PLAT or PT stamp, and get a receipt stating the metal content.

To really catch us off guard, ask for our gemscope. If you’re checking out metal jewelry, you should make sure it’s not warped or flimsy. And we’re never going to put a cheap rock in a nice setting so the setting can give you a sense of the stone quality.

How else do you know a good stone? Look carefully through our gemscope for marks. Gems—rubies, sapphires, and especially emeralds often have imperfections. We use chemical treatments to make them look nice to the naked eye. This makes the gem less valuable. Some gems are made in labs. Ask if the stone was “CRTD,” or “created.” These gems should also be cheaper. If you’re looking at loose stones, whip out your business card—again, like you know your shit—and use it as a background. (Those black velvet trays we’re so fond of trick your eye into seeing things as brighter.) And if we won’t show you loose stones, we’re probably pulling a fast one. One way to camouflage a badly cut rock is by setting it so you can’t see the whole stone.

Mind your diamonds
Since an engagement ring is the single biggest purchase you don’t want to make, we’ve got you cornered. You’re scared, and you’ll believe any bullshit. Meanwhile, De Beers has a lock on more than 60 percent of the market. They release a trickle of diamonds 10 times a year to a select group of 125 “sightholders” in order to keep the price high. Is it a racket? You bet.

First off, make sure you can get papers for your diamond—or any stone you’re buying. A Gemological Institute of America (GIA) report will protect you from a scam in which a jeweler sells you a “fracture-filled” stone instead of a flawless one. That means it’s a low-quality rock that has internal fractures patched up with glass or other material. People don’t know what they’ve got until they get the ring resized, and it pops apart like a corn kernel on a stove.

And those four Cs—color, carat, cut, and clarity—your girlfriend nags about aren’t a hoax. They detail the stone’s quality. Start with color. You want rating F or E—it makes for a white rock. The cut should be 4 to 6 on a scale of 10 (lower is better). Clarity rates the stone’s imperfections. A good rating is VS1 or VS2—meaning “very small inclusions,” undetectable to the eye.If the other Cs are good, you won’t even need a full carat to make an impression.

Which brings us to this: Never, ever ask for “breakpoints”—the standard sizes every other guy is buying. The price per carat goes up due to this added demand. The best deals are for items that are a little under breakpoints such as .50, .75, 1.00, etc.

Strike a deal
There’s no set markup for jewelry, so you can get great deals. When haggling, simplicity is best. Just ask, “Is that your best price?” The price for stock is often more flexible, and your bargaining room is greater because you confirm our worst fears: You’re going to take your time picking a piece out. Never buy on your first visit. Tell us you want to check out another shop. That puts the pressure on. We know what the other guys charge, so if we’re padding the price, we’ll have to do better.

If you’re buying an expensive piece—like your woman’s rock—use an independent appraiser with a GIA degree. (To find one, go to the “Alumni Associates” section of the GIA Web site at www.gia.edu.) Call a few to find the best value. Most charge by the carat. And always use a credit card, because that at least offers you some recourse.

Do all this and when you walk out…you’ll still be whipped. But, hey, at least you won’t be beaten by the bad eggs of my industry.